WHEREAS we have found consciousness to be fluid and expansible
WHEREAS we have found the pursuit of knowledge through the use of various chemical aids (known to the laymen as lysergic acid diethylamide or LSD)
WHEREAS we have learned more in the space of a few short years under chemical guideance and chemically expanded consciousness than any of us have in the whole of our lives in academia
And WHEREAS we have been opposed by every turn by the Consciousness Limiters (hereafter referred to as the CLs) closedminded, the fearful, and the oppressive who seek to outlaw, constrain, and otherwise harass and suppress Truth in all its chemical forms
THEREFORE I submit to the Consciousness Society of America (hereafter referred to as the CSA) that we take our work underground
CONSIDER that a refuge or shelter, suitably constructed and outfitted with technology designed for nuclear fallout, could sustain our Carbon Shells (hereafter referred to as CSes) for a nearly indefinite period of time
CONSIDER that, with careful planning, we would be able to deal with considerations of hydration and waste
CONSIDER that, with a well-stocked library of books and consciousness-expenders, we would be able to advance our work by leaps and bounds
CONSIDER that, by doing so, we would free ourselves both from the strictures of the Imposed Reality (hereafter referred to as the IR), and the repression of the aforementioned Consciousness Limiters (hereafter referred to as CLs)
THEREFORE I submit to you that the Consciousness Society of America (hereafter referred to as the CSA) construct a network of Consciousness Shelters (hereafter referred to as CSes) beneath our current dwelling places
THEREFORE I submit to you that we stock the with the Consciousness Shelters (hereafter referred to as CSes) with the necessities for maintain our Carbon Shells (hereafter referred to as CSes) as well as the chemicals needed for expansion
THEREFORE I submit to you that we seal ourselves in these Consciousness Shelters (hereafter referred to as CSes) for a period of not less than 30 years of explorations of the boundaries of consciousness, thereafter to reemerge to share our revelations with the world
THEREFORE I submit to you that work has already begun on an example unit to be held up as a model and sealed at a predetermined time
SUBMITTED this day, October 17, 1985, to the monthly meeting of the Consciousness Society of America (hereafter referred to as the CSA)
-Dr. C. J. Applewhite IV, Southern Michigan University, AKA Ceejayaye, AKA Applecore, AKA Consciousness #32283
Inspired by this satirical post.
Excerpts From Nonexistent Books 