“Sid Fleek, Majordomo Used Motors.” Sid’s smile was casual, natural, unlike the forced leer of most used car salesmen. “I bet you’re thinking that it would take a pretty cold day in Hell to get you driving one of these junkers for free, much less paying for one.”

The customer nodded. “Yeah. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Like a Florida citrus grove,” Sid continued. “Lemons everywhere, none that would even get you to the grocery store on a Sunday.”

“I dunno, that Volvo doesn’t look as bad as, say, that Chevy,” the customer said, indicating a rustbucket Vega on lot’s edge.

Fifteen minutes later, he was leaving the lot in the driver’s seat of that selfsame Volvo as Sid finished the paperwork with a flourish.

“How do you do it, Sid?” Dean Fleidermann, one of the transport drivers, said. “That Volvo’s got a bad transmission and a cooling system that’s older than Betty White but with fewer active fans.”

“The secret is making them think it’s their idea. Just like with women. And children. And the elderly. And pansexual life partners. And animals.”

Dean shook his head. “That’s skill. So why are you slumming it at Majordomo? You don’t even make enough here to stay afloat; where’s that you’re moonlighting these days?”

“Bernstein Bros. Towing and Repossession Services. We take nice things from deadbeats who don’t like paying for them. I get to sneak around, unarmed, and repo the shit out of everything from diamonds to Mitsubishi Diamantes.”

“That sounds like the worst job in the world, man. You really need to grab the classifieds some day. “Dean wandered off, still shaking his head.

The cell in Sid’s desk rang. Not his personal phone, or his business phone. The other phone.

“We’ve got a client who wants a cherry Chrysler TC, red, with less than 100,000 miles acquired as soon as possible,” a voice said. “Pay is 100k with a 20k bonus for speed if you can get it by the end of the week. No questions asked; customer will generate title and paperwork if necessary.”

“A TC…Maserati body with a Detroit engine. Worst of both worlds.”

“Apparently it’s a gift. Client’s brother always wanted one and turns 50 next week.”

“I’m in. Drop the details at the usual location.” Sid ended the call. Selling used cars and repossessing things may not be glamorous, he mused, but they kept his edge sharp for the real work to be done.

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