“So I managed to stagger to the health center to ask about the fever, headache, and chills that’ve kept me on my back all week.”

“And?”

“Health center thinks whatever I have is a viral infection against which they can do nothing, though they jabbed me with a sharp object just to be sure. They encouraged me to keep shoveling ibuprofen at the problem.”

“So you think that even after bloodwork they don’t know what it is?”

“Yeah. I’m totally doing a patient zero here. I bet it’s Ebola, or maybe Super Aids.”

“Wouldn’t Super Aids require you to have sex with somebody that isn’t, well, you?”

“You get Super Aids from direct eye contact. That’s why they call it Super Aids.”

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