You hear a lot about car insurance these days. 14 minutes saving you 14% or more on car insurance, customers switching and saving an average of $500 dollars per second, and of course enough commercials to keep the American advertising industry in the black for years to come.

But what if I told you that you could save 90% or more in 90 seconds or less?

That’s where PICO Car Assurance comes in.

Unlike traditional car insurance, PICO Car Assurance requires no agents, no actuaries, no investigators, and no overheard. We pass the cost savings directly on to you, the consumer, allowing you to claim savings of up to 90% off even the cheapest car insurance plan.

By tapping into the innate human need to save money, and by providing a warm comforting blanket of emotional support, PICO allows its customers to feel assured that nothing bad will happen to them or their automobile. By providing friendly, homely, fully automated voice support at all times, PICO customers are never more than a dialtone away from reassurance.

Naturally, anyone attempting to actually process a claim will run into a nightmare of red tape and obfuscation, albeit reassuring obfuscation. Like an abusive partner or a politician, warm but empty promises will be made and broken like so many twigs in a landslide. No one will ever receive so much as a dime from PICO, because we are selling assurance, not insurance.

But honestly, aren’t we just doing what all the other insurers are doing but being more open and honest about it? And, at the end of the day, isn’t it all about saving money and bragging to others rather than actually getting meaningful protection for your automobile or your loved ones?

PICO Car Assurance: the smart choice. Because empty words and empty promises are all we have in a cold and impersonal world.

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