“You was warned, tosser.” The foremost of the men donned a pair of brass knuckles, and Weissmüller could see that they were embossed with the Radiant and All-Devouring Commode–the secret symbol of the Bathroominati.

“But…but all I wanted to do was design a place of comfort and serenity where people might void their bowels in peace!” the fixturemaker protested.

“And all we want to do is knock a little sense into your blinkin’ block for it,” the thug said. “It ain’t square with the Code of the Bathroominati, see? We as a species ain’t never gonna evolve out of the need for fixtures if you make using ’em too posh, berk. They’s got to be the way they is.”

“I’m…I’m sorry!”

“Oy, and sorrier still once we’ve cut your posh fixtures up and forced ’em down yer gullet. Tossers can’t be thinking they can defy the Great Bathroominated Ones without a sound beating from the Radiant and All-Devouring Commode, now can they?”

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