“It’s a shame to see Oscar winners and blockbuster stars shilling in commercials for sleazy pay-to-win cell phone games.”
“Hey, if it pays the bills, it pays the bills.”
“Are…are you playing one of those games right now?”
“I can’t help it! I love the rush when I stomp some n00b good because I’m paying a little bit more than they are.”
“Huh. Looks like you’re the one getting stomped right now!”
“Son of a bitch, you’re right! How did they get all those units?”
“Say, you know what? I bet those stars get a bunch of free credits in those pay-to-win games they’re selling out for.”
“Why’s that?”
“Look at the username. You just got beaten by Arnold Schwarzenegger.”
Excerpts From Nonexistent Books 