Pursuant to these changes, and the results of the accident, N&N Properties has made the following decisions:

1. Effective immediately, the name of the apartment complex will be changed from ‘Trillium Fields” to ‘Tritium Fields.’

2. We will now be positioning the complex as a ‘safe and protected environment for irradiated persons’ rather than our previous focus on single adults.

3. Pets are immediately banned. Irradiated persons who have exchanged gene sequences with pets are exempt.

4. Rather than air fresheners, we will now offer dosimeter badges as a free monthly gift.

5. Trash will no longer be collected, but will instead be buried onsite as soon as Knock Bros. Lead can line a suitable site.

6. Lights-out has been changed from 11pm to 2am due to unanticipated glow.

  • Like what you see? Purchase a print or ebook version!