“Gentlemen, I give you Ruins & Rogues, 1st edition,” said Matt. “The Old Testament. Fire and brimstone. Death around every corner.” With a flourish, he opened his bag and took put a stack of books with brightly colored if crudely drawn covers.

“Wow, is that a 1st edition Adventurer’s Guidebook?” cried Chris.

“With the rare first printing inclusion of copyrighted characters from the Tolkien estate,” Matt said proudly. “Bought them at an estate sale on Dounton Street East.”

“What’s this?” Jeff, the third member of Matt’s erstwhile Ruins & Rogues group took up a sheaf of papers between the Ruins & Rogues Creature Compendium and the Ruins & Rogues Interverse Manual.

“Oh, it’s the campaign that whoever owned this stuff before was playing,” Matt said. “It’s MS3TK-worthy, you’ve got to see this.”

“Got to see this is right,” Chris chortled, taking up a character sheet with a 1984 date. “Drake Midnight: level five barbarian of Clan War Bear. Nineteen strength, nineteen agility, four intelligence.” He held up a crude illustration of a Viking in a horny helmet wielding two axes bug enough for their own Congressmen. “Look, it’s straight out of Napoleon Dynamite’s sketchbook. Hope those straps are velcro. Hilarious!”

“Hilarious is this map right here,” countered Jeff. “Titcave Mound, home of the Priestesses of Lost Memory. Or is that lost mammary? Look at these booby statues they drew!”

“It’s a wonder they got in there at all considering their healer was Chastity Witchmourner,” Matt added. “Her character sheet includes her measurements and a nice little doodle of what I can only assume is a 12-year-old smuggling beach balls. Looks like the player–one ‘Steve’–was pretty into it. I hope this stain is from the fried chicken they were eating!”

All three had a good laugh before settling down to the business of filling out their new character sheets, with Mat promising that the old campaign would be incorporated into their new one for kicks and giggles. Before the playing got started in earnest, though, Matt excused himself to fetch more snacks.

The basement door opened onto a vast and red-skied vista illuminating a temple carved into the living rock of the mountainside with impossibly busty caryatids supporting it. A flamingly redheaded woman of similar proportions, and wearing what must have been about three cubic inches of chainmail, was rushing toward him.

“Drake had gone berserk with War Bear battle lust!” she cried. “You must help me!”

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“What shall we do today, Goldilocks?”

Lutea’s fish, swimming idly in her bowl, did not reply.

“Fine then, I’ll think of something myself.”

Lutea paced back and forth on her tiled floor, each tile handmade and unique. She stared at her walls, covered in green wallpaper of her own design and accented with beautifully painted fruits (because why not?). There were so many possibilities, a paralyzing panoply of possibilities in point of fact.

Perhaps arts and crafts? Lutea examined her last project, an umbrella with the same sorts of fruits that covered her wall. She lounged on the wooden bench that doubled as bed and couch, chair and china cabinet. Well, quadrupled as those things anyhow. There were so many unfinished art projects on and underneath it that she’d have to do a mighty clearing the next time she wanted to sleep.

Perhaps best not to start anything new, then.

“Goldilocks, you’re usually so helpful when I can’t decide what to do today,” Lutea said, pouting slightly.

The fish swam about her bowl, blithely fanning her tiny gills.

“All right, I’m sorry about what I said the other day,” said Lutea. “You’re not a silly fish. The walking stick was a very good idea, I just felt like modifying it a little bit since there’s nowhere to walk and you never know when it might rain.”

“That’s better,” the goldfish said, her sweet voice warbled by the waters in which she swam. “Is a simple apology so hard?”

“Harder before you’ve done it than after,” laughed Lutea. “Now let’s hear your idea for today. I can see in your eyes that you’ve got one.”

“We should make some more tiles, Lutea. It may not be as fun as other things, but we can make the place bigger! Maybe even find someplace new!”

It was a simple suggestion, perhaps, but–as always–a good one. Lutea sat on her bench, stretched out her arms, and concentrated. After a moment, the thin outline of a tile, more like a washed-out photograph than anything, began to appear. Following a little more mental effort, the dust of the universe coalesced into something firm enough to be held.

“What do you think for colors, Goldilocks?”

“Raspberry and vanilla swirl!”

“Oooh! You always know just what will work.” Lutea swirled her hands, and as she did so vibrant colors blossomed forth across the plain surface, following the every motion of her hands like a viscous liquid. When the pattern caught her fancy, she froze it and held the completed tile up. Goldilocks flipped her tail in approval, and Lutea laid the tile in a gap at the edge of her place.

One more square looking into the infinite starry void that surrounded them filled up. Lutea looked out over the endless expanse thoughtfully, picking out a few minor bits of debris and a great void-whale to which she waved before turning back.

“If you can concentrate a bit harder, Lutea, we can make more than one at once,” said Goldilocks. “Then we could blaze a bath and see what’s out there, away from our little patch.”

“Someday, Goldilocks. Someday.”

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He was the greatest assassin and enforcer the Syndemo organization had ever retained, and just recently foiled in an attempt on the life of a prominent local landowner at the behest of Lady Faxhall, the hypochondriac nymphomaniac lynchpin of a far-ranging conspiracy. He was behind the blade on many of the most vicious encounters that Cecil the potato-loving priest and Vic the unlucky thief had been though, from the Lillandel mine ambush to the halfling prostitute kidnapping. A mountain of a man, he went by many aliases, each as dark as the cloak he wore and as crooked as the feathered hat rakishly tilted over a shaven pate.

To Vic and Cecil, their hulking foe was only known as Big McLargehuge.

And now, atop the icy winter spires of Cecil’s ancestral manor, he was about to be brought to justice.

McLargeHuge’s assassination attempt had ended in failure, with Roxie the porcelain sex doll golem smashed, the gnome negotiator/sorcerer fled, Bear the Berserker cut down in mid-drinking-song. Fleeing to the roof, the assassin found himself with Vic and Cecil at his back, with their well-armed hirelings Namor Ylati(Junior Bro of the Order of the Tri-Delts associated with the Knights of Clohl) and Sirea Lossberg (who Vic had accidentally hired while trying to proposition).

“Y-you there!” cried Vic, his voice muffled by the cloth he had wound around his head to conceal his identity and avoid reprisals should the battle go ill. “Stop all the getting-away-like…stuff!”

Big McLargeHuge turned around, the icy wind on the rather flat but still sloped castle roof catching his cloak dramatically. “I agree, it’s time to end things,” he said menacingly. A blade of foreign manufacture, crackling with enchantments, whipped out of its scabbard. “Come and face your doom, you interfering necromancer.”

“H-how many times do I have to tell you people, I’m not a necromancer!” Vic cried. “I’m a…treasure…hunter-type…guy.”

“You’re a dead man,” said McLargeHuge, his sword singing as it cut through the air in a practice swing. “That’s necromancer enough for me.

“Stop that there assassin in the name of Clohl!” cried Cecil. His estranged father had been the assassin’s target, and even though he remembered little of his life before a potato-shaped rock had called him to the priesthood, he was still honor-bound to intervene. In invoking the spirit of Surah 18, Psalm 42, Line 118, Word 3 of the Book of Jehosephat (which was a real page-turner), Cecil had cast a holy spell.

The assassin had been focused on taunting the “necromancer,” seeing him as the key threat. So the spell of holding cast by the bumpkin-seeming priest in overalls and a flowered hat caught him totally by surprise. His taunting words died in his mouth and he froze, a surprised expression on his face, just as surely as if he had been left to the snowy elements for a week. A light breeze whipped up, and the assassin pitched over, still stock-still, onto his side.

Ice on the castle roof and gravity did the rest.

“Oh!” cried Cecil.

“Ooh!” yelped Vic.

“Dude!” whistled Namor.

“Ouch!” winced Sirea.

Nimbly shimmying down the waterspouts castleside, Vic approached the fallen, motionless assassin.

“Is them that there malefactor…dead?” Cecil cried with heartbreak in his voice.

Vic took the opportunity to rifle through Big McLargeHuge’s pockets and his…everywhere else. “Got to look more closely to be sure.” In moments he had appropriated the assassin’s badass hat, badassier cape, and badassest sword (along with 275 ducats from an inner pocket).

When Cecil’s spell wore off moments later, the assassin found himself unarmed, partially undressed, and defenseless. His previous bravado forgotten, he beat a hasty retreat toward the tall fence at the edge of the property. Vic’s attempt to pursue was undermined somewhat by tripping on the cape that he had somehow managed to fasten around himself in the confusion (to say nothing of the large-brimmed hat that was suddenly interfering with his peripheral vision).

It looked like the vile Syndemo assassin BigMcLargeHuge might escape after all; he had scrambled over the fence before Vic could find his footing.

And then Sirea bore down upon him like an avenging angel. Using the spear she had stolen from one of McLargeHuge’s own Syndemo mercenaries in the Lillendel mines, she vaulted over the fence in a show of extraordinary grace (and, from Vic’s point of view, extraordinary ass). Her boots were planted square in the small of the assassin’s back, knocking him out for good and all.

By the time the less-agile Cecil and Namor reached ground level, Sirea had tied the unconscious assassin to her spear like a boar on a spit and was dragging him back toward the property.

“I think I’m in love,” Vic breathed.

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Baris Kolar is not from the general setting area but rather the nearby and contextual land of Noiun (noy-ooh-n), which for many years suffered under the reign of tyrannical bishop-princes. The Kolars were a relatively well-to-do family in Viesot, and Baris’s older brother was expected to inherit their property while Baris was trained as a priest. Unfortunately, the brother was a member of a banned society that attempted to kill the bishop-prince, and as a result he was executed and the family’s property confiscated.

Radicalized, Baris was expelled from the seminary for advocating revolution (though he got a good education out of it beforehand) and was forced into exile after becoming associated with the same rebels. It was during his exile and subsequent work as a mercenary to raise funds for Noiun revolutionaries that he met the other characters back in the day. Eventually he returned to Viesot with his earnings and new skills and paid a small but vital role in the overthrow and execution of he last of the Noiun bishop-princes. The newly-proclaimed Republic of Noiun occupied most of his time over the next decades; Baris served in the government in mostly behind-the-scenes roles, not one of the rulers but at the same time not a nobody either.

The new rulers wound up no less tyrannical than the old, though, and after his faction lost a power struggle Baris was forced into exile once again, and most of his remaining friends and allies were executed or forced to flee abroad. Penniless and regarded with suspicion by those who know his revolutionary past–Duniya is not hospitable to such ideas–Baris has been forced to rejoin his old allies from his first exile. He hopes one day to return triumphantly to Noiun, but for now is content to stay alive.

As with most revolutionaries, Baris has a tale or two to tell, and he does so at length, reminiscing about the glory days of his revolutionary struggle or all the young woman from Viesot for whom power was an aphrodisiac. However, age has rendered him completely impotent, a detail that he is desperate to hide from his companions, and he fears that he may run into children he sired and abandoned during his first exile.

His revolutionary past and long exile coupled with his rejection of traditional Noiun religion and societal norms mean that he is excellent at subterfuge and persuasion and has embraced the technology of firearms. As such, he plays like a rogue/ranger, with emphasis on concealment, diplomacy, and ranged combat with pistols.

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It has entered the annals of history as Libris, but to those who lived there and trod its white marble streets it had no such name. They knew it only as the City of Literature.

Nestled at the edge of the great floodplain, against the backdrop of the mountain range which had ever been the border of the known world, the City had been the pet project of a long-dead and long-forgotten emperor. He had realized, in the canny way rulers often do, that culture and learning were potent weapons in their own right, and even more so when combined with strength of arms. So he had laid out a city to attract the great writers, sculptors, painters, and artists of all persuasions throughout his land.

The Old Laws were promulgated by him. Those who traveled to the City of Literature and demonstrated their skills would be admitted to live for free among the columned gardens and terraced cascades of the Great River that made up the Inner City. All that was required of them was to produce their art. Those of skilled trades related to art–bookbinders, paint mixers, canvasmakers–were also admitted and lived for free, though only in the less opulent area of the Outer City.

Beyond the great walls of the Outer City was the great sprawl of the Warrens. It had originally been nothing but a few dusty inns and hitching posts to service travelers who arrived to apply for admission, but over time it grew into a city of its own, ten times larger than the Inner and Outer Cities combined, that saw to their needs. The Old Laws levied a tax on the farmers of the area, requiring a portion of the harvest for the City; they also stipulated that the mundane day-to-day affairs and policing of the city be done by outsiders admitted for the purpose at sunup and expelled at sundown.

The City was a light unto the world for hundreds of years, even as the great old empire fell and the fierce winds of time swept away its successors one by one. There eventually came a time when the great army of the Conqueror approached, in the process of building an empire that would stand a thousand years after his death. As was his custom, the Conqueror paused a week’s ride from the City and demanded an audience with its elders to negotiate a peaceful surrender and the protection of their property.

This touched off a fierce discussion about who the elders were, and which of the artists was qualified to treat with the Conqueror. No conclusion was reached, and thus no emissary was dispatched. With no one to treat with, the Conqueror assumed that his offer had been rejected. His army advanced, and the smallholders he encountered pledged their fealty in exchange for the lifting of the Old Laws. The soldiers and peacekeepers of the City, drawn from the Warrens, had tired of their treatment at the hands of the artists and deserted their posts en masse to join the Conqueror.

Even so, the Conqueror was greatly vexed. The City was protected by walls of the oldest and strongest making, of a sort that mankind no longer had the skill to create or destroy. A token force could have held it against all comers indefinitely. Yet the artists in the City were unable to agree to a unified command, and to a man and to a woman they each held themselves too important to be sullied with the menial task of fighting, to say nothing of representing an unacceptable loss to the City should they fall in combat.

Advancing through the unfortified Warrens to a wary welcome, the Conqueror found the walls undefended and the gates open. His forces burst in on the final meeting of the Artists’ Moot, leading the luminaries therein out in chains. The Conqueror was a pragmatic man with little patience for ostentation or ornamentation, and he was frustrated by his inability to find leaders to execute or turncoats willing to serve. In a fit of anger, he massacred the entire Moot and dispersed the remainder of the Inner City as slaves. The Outer City was purged of its craftspeople, who were appropriated for military purposes, and the art and literature of a thousand years was dispersed over the new empire as the spoils of war.

The City itself became little more than a military garrison and stockpile of building materials…and a monument to the simple axiom that art and literature are only as strong as the will to defend them.

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“The necromancer! The necromancer is coming! Faster, you thickheaded simplecog!” The gnome swatted the mercenary at the reins of his dogsled team–the last survivor of an assassination squad that had once numbered ten men–with his wand.

Looking back, the mercenary beheld their pursuer: a team of four skeletons, armed and girded for combat, lashed like draft horses to a floating disc of magical matter than glided silently over the deep Minotian snow. At their reins: a katana-brandishing figure with a dark cloak cast over one shoulder and a magnificent hat of the finest quality beside an overall-clad holy man wielding a rock strapped to a staff (both ablaze with the holy wrath of Clohl, god of light and potatoes).

The mercenary handed the reins over to the gnome and cast himself off the side of the sled, landing heavily in a snowbank and fleeing into the woods.

Vic Savage, master thief but definitely NOT a necromancer, drew a bead on the gnome’s sled with his bow. “S…sorry about this, Fluffy, Muffy, a-and all the…y’know, rest of you. You were good fuzz-type dog-sled-puller guys.” The dogs were in fact the same team that had borne them to the Lillandel Mines and the fabulous treasures which lay within (to say nothing of the fabulous treasure that was Sirea Lossberg’s ass), viciously stolen a month earlier.

“Wait just a moment,” drawled Cecil, one-time noble and now-time priest thanks to an unfortunate potato-related riding accident. “That there is against th’ teachings o’ Clohl. For it is written in the Book o’ Jehosephat (which is a real page-turner), Book of Canis Major, Canto 117, Line 32b: ‘And they shalt not slay th’ puppies o’ thine own self or Clohl, who smiles upon ’em as divinely as his potatoes.’ There’s some debate on th’ meaning o’ that there passage, especially on th’ subjunctive tense o’ th’ Old Runic, but…”

“Well…w-what should I, y’know, do instead?” Vic snapped. “That nasty…short…gnome-guy is, y’know, getting away-like. Fastly.”

“Here,” said Cecil. He handed Vic a portable hole, all rubbery and black. “The Book o’ Jehosephat is silent on that there flinging of puppies yea into holes.” He’d give the hole to Namor, Junior Bro of the Order of the Tri-Delts (a feeder organization to the Knights of Clohl), but that magnificent slab of barely animate meat hadn’t needed it.

Vic wrapped the portable hole around the head of his arrow and loosed it straight and true, which was a big deal considering how often he loosed pointy things any which way but straight and true. It landed just ahead of the fleeing gnome with a satisfying *schlopp* and the sled pitched into the chasm that opened suddenly before it.

Pulling back on the reins of his Dragon Tooth Warriors (which were not necromancy at all but simple automatons he had gotten as a birthday present before his family’s ruination at the hands of Lady Faxhall, the nymphomaniac hypochondriac universal spider of the Minotian underworld), Vic stopped them at the side of the hole. The gnome was fumbling for the wand that he had used in the assassination attempt earlier, the one that had nearly singed Sirea to death (in between beatings by Roxie the porcelain sex doll golem).

Cecil brandished his potato-shaped rock and holy symbol, reciting a verse from the Book of Jehosephat (a real page-turner) about how the blinding light of revelation from Clohl yea did scorch the unbeleivers and yea didst melt the eyeballs from thine faces. A blinding gout of holy fire sprang forth, engulfing the gnome and singeing off his magnificent beard (leaving only his much smaller and downier childhood beard beneath it).

“I surrender!” sputtered the gnome, struggling to put out a dozen small fires on his person. “I surrender!”

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Sit tight, child, and let me tell you the tale of the Masked Queen.

No one could say where she came from, what noble family or poor line of farmers, but whispers of a female warrior of peerless skill and outstanding fairness spread in the Rosca Woods long ago. Long oppressed by the cruel and arbitrary kings of the great riverine city of Seven Isles, the people of the Woods flocked to her banner. After the defeat of the King’s men at the terrible Battle of the Fords, she entered the city in triumph and was pronounced its leader by acclimation.

A curious turn of events, as none had ever seen her face. Nor did any know her name.

The new queen of the Seven Isles was always berobed, and always wore a mask. In her early days it had been wooden, but the only luxuries that she allowed herself in latter days were masks of ornate silver and robes of fine silk. She would choose different masks for different occasions, to express pleasure or displeasure, as her words were always perfectly free of inflection.

The Masked Queen, as she became known due to her refusal to give her true name, was a fair, just, and equitable monarch. By the time of her passing, the Seven Isles had expanded its territory a hundredfold; an elected Duma ran most affairs, and the Queen’s Code regulated the formerly chaotic and despotic lands over which she ruled.

Upon her passing, the Duma removed the Queen’s mask and robes, curious to see at last the form of she who had been their guide for so long. To their great and lasting surprise, there was no face at all beneath the mask, and no body beneath the robes.

There was, instead, only a tangle of brambly branches, grown weak and wormy with age.

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Fawn Delacroix Pivec owned a small library of books about the little chinks through which magic might seep into our otherwise mundane world. Lewis and Lewis, C. S. and Carroll respectively, were first and foremost in the collection, and her peers in school had long grown tired of endless book reports and dioramas on they and their literary successors.

So, when standing longingly in a fairy ring at the very edge of the Pivecs’ five acres, Fawn was delighted but unsurprised to spy a fairy flitting back and forth among the stinging nettles and wild raspberries tumbling over the old fence.

“Take me with you,” she whispered breathlessly, at once afraid to cry out and scare the delicate being away and unable to contain her joy upon seeing it.

The tiny fairy cocked its head and regarded her.

“Take me with you,” Fawn said again. “Don’t be afraid, I won’t hurt you. I’m ready to see your world. I always have been.”

“Oh, child,” said the fairy, in a voice that was birdsong and cicadas, summer rain and running water. “My poor precious child. You dwelt in our world for an aeon and verily became our most beloved friend and queen, ere you returned. But mortal memories cannot hold that where we dwell and dance, so it has already slipped away from you like sand in a spring tempest.”

From an idea by breylee.

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It is a question oft-asked: why, with magic fading from the world, do the fae seem to be increasing in numbers? Every other creature of magic and spirit is becoming increasingly rare as reason assaults belief, which is the basic necessity for the existence of the transmundane. And why is it that no one has ever seen a young fae, despite intense interest in their habits on the part of innumerable scholars?

In truth, the solution to that riddle has long been known by the learned of the nations, just as it has been vehemently rejected by their peers.

Man has long been known to be unique among the creatures of his world because he is equal parts spiritual magic and mundane clay. The mundane animals hunted for food or kept as companions are all mundane clay, while the dragons and will-o’-the-wisps and such are pure spirit and magic. In man alone are they present in nearly equal measure.

In the waning days of bronze, when man first began to master the forces mundane and magical of his world, the fae were exceedingly rare and regarded as symbols and portents, their tiny flitting forms omens of great good or calamitous evil. In the present age of iron and reason, they are common enough that whole areas are infested with them, so much that one of the few callings remaining to those skilled in the ark and knack of magic is shooing them away.

The bitter truth is that the delicate and ephemeral fae are, in fact, the sloughed-off spirits of men.

When mankind gives itself wholly over to reason and cruel calculation, tearing out the part of itself that deals in wonder and magic, that ripped-out soul takes the form of a flitting fae, all the spirit and magic of humanity in miniature. That is why they bear no young, and that is why they only seem to fade and die when nobles, mercenaries, or men of means themselves sicken.

For, although separated, they are still bound by a silver thread of common destiny. Sorrowful predictions, unheeded by those who have cast out the spiritual from their souls, see mankind as a race wholly divested of its fae shards within the next hundred years at the current rate.

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It wasn’t just that summer vacation was coming to an end, and that life would soon be classrooms and textbooks and waking up early to get dressed. This was Tara’s twelfth summer, and she could see childhood’s end bearing down upon her not far off.

There would be school dances, growth spurts, algebra, and other distasteful things to contend with, combined with the pressures she’d seen unleashed on her older sister. The obsessive desire to act older, to cast off childish aspects and habits…it didn’t excite a dreamy girl who preferred to stomp around the yard and scribble down stories in worn-out notebooks.

Tara’s family had a house on the literal edge of their tiny town, with houses across the street and a relative wilderness to the back, bounded on one side by a farm. The highway, sometimes audible through the trees, had brought development to the east: an ugly mini-mall and fast food joints fused with gas stations. But if she walked in the other direction, Tara could find excitement and stories to be told in the woods.

She set out one day, feeling a strong urge to be outside and muddy among the trees. Her older sister and ostensible babysitter was on the phone with her boyfriend–another accoutrement of growing up that Tara was less than enthusiastic about–so with their parents at work the wold was free and fair even though Tara was theoretically forbidden from going in. But rules were made to be broken, and broken especially in the service of squeezing out a few more honey-yellow drops of summer from the dying light of August.

It was, after all, Tara’s last summer.

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