It was kind of a love-hate thing, really. People saw it on his resume or on the internet that Simon Mullins had worked on Megabot 3, the third and best-received in the long running Megabot series, and they invited him to conferences and other events, often with an honorarium. It was tough for someone who only made web design money to turn the offer down, even if the same thing inevitably happened.

Someone would ask a specific question about Megabot 3: “Did you know about the endless hitbox bug when using Seabot’s Salt Trident on Professor Wild’s third boss robot?”

Simon would answer: “Well, I worked on the PC version of the game.”

“There was a PC version?” That was the most common response. If anyone had actually heard of it–which, thanks to the internet, an increasing number did–the comments were usually along the line of “The PC version sucked.”

And that was it. The actual designers of Megabot 3 lived in Japan and spoke no English (in addition to using pseudonyms like “Pan Pan” or “Nobuo-Kun’s Daddy” in the credits). So there was no chance they’d ever show up at Nerdicon. And the PC version of the game was notorious for its perceived low quality, if anyone had even heard of or played it.

No one ever asked or wanted to hear about how Simon had wrangled the Megabot license out of Kapcami Ltd by spending half a day on a long distance phone call to Honshu and sending a cashier’s check for ¥49,065 (about 500 bucks). No one wanted to know how he had carefully, and legally, copied assets from a frame-by-frame study of a Megabot 3 cartridge. No one wanted to know how he painstakingly coded–by himself–an engine that would produce a comparable effect to a console game, with original levels and Botmasters that would work on DOS-based machines.

In that era before multiple platform releases and emulators, the Mullins Laboratories Megabot 3 had been the only thing close to a Megabot game on the PC. It had even reaped about $10,000 in profits, enough to pay off one of Mullins’ student loans. But that wasn’t enough to keep him from being tarred as the “guy behind the crappy PC port.”

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December 1, 1941
Arrived Cocatris Island with detachment of 10 contractors. Contract is for a small base to serve as the nucleus for farming and development, and to reinforce US claim to island in the fact of Japan and UK counter-claims. Equipment offloaded from Clemson-class destroyer USS WoodburyDD-309 provided by US government. Anticipate work will take approximately one month.

December 9, 1941
The Woodbury has failed to arrive for its scheduled stop. It’s a bit worrisome, as they were our sole means of communication and resupply. Luckily, we have built a dock and a number of shelters including a hut with emergency supplies, and should be able to last a while until the ship returns.

January 2, 1942
We’ve been able to pick up Radio Tokyo and the BBC on our shortwave, but without a transmitter it’s not much better than reading the newspaper. Found out what happened to the Woodbury, at least: it’s been confirmed sunk by both the Japanese and the Brits. It’s possible that the government thinks it was sunk before we were dropped off on Cocatris, since we were were ahead of schedule…

February 15, 1942
the freshwater lens is just too damn unstable and we’re drinking it too fast…even with rations we’re running low on water. eidelman volunteered to take the skiff and a crew to becker island to try and contact the crew there

February 29, 1942
goOd ridDancE…EidelmAn was aLways a Plotter…no wAter lEFt, moSt of the cRew deaD…but ilL be fIne…tHe iSlanD wilL proVide

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“Not so fast,” the bouncer said, lowering his newspaper. “What would you say if I offered you a million bucks?”

“No,” said Sen.

“What direction does a rocket go?”

“Down.”

“And how do you get a car to go?”

“Empty the gas out of the tank.”

The bouncer nodded curtly. “Welcome to Moontown,” he said. He flung open the door into a world of blacklights, neon, and madness.

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“If I regret anything,” coughed Grandpa, “it’s that I didn’t use the keys that God and circumstance handed me. There were plenty of doors to open, but I never turned their locks.”

“What do you mean?”

I knew there were vikings in the old barn…I could hear them rattling around in the hayloft on windy nights. But I never opened that door, never went in to see for myself. I knew that the typewriter on my desk had worlds inside of it for me to unlock; I could see them. But I never turned those keys. If I’d pushed for it, I might have got a better job than the cannery. But it kept you and your mother well enough, and I was comfortable there, so I never pushed for it.”

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Her poem “Of the Labyrinth-Women” remains highly anthologized, with its haunting and lyrical language oft-quoted:

for they are the labyrinth-women
twisted within as twisted without
bent inwards upon a mockery of a path
forward to dark and darkward to death

– M. Alethia Markridge, Of the Labyrinth-Women (1935), third stanza.

For all the success and fame that her poetry brought, Alethia Markridge did not live a happy life. She increasingly turned to alcohol and isolation, to the point that her daughter Olive was all but abandoned with her parents in Montauk. “I feel a husk,” she wrote in a 1937 letter, “squeezed-out dull as the name I hide behind full-stops before my true self.”

In the later years of her life, and especially after the publication of A Thousand Strands to the Present in early 1938, Markridge became increasingly obsessed with her first name, Marie, by which she had rarely been called but upon which her devoutly Catholic grandmother had insisted. She called it her “true self” in many letters, and wrote of her fear that it presaged a domestic mundanity to which she was doomed. “To return to the washboard and the oven, the husk-party and gossip-mongery…that is what I fear the most,” she confided in a 1939 note to her sister. “I say return because I feel that all I have ever done and will ever do is but a postponement of the destiny inherited by a million Maries, the destiny they’ll pass on to a hundred more.

Markridge’s final collection, tentatively titled Love-Serenade to the Maries of the Universe, was never completed.

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FROM: Lilian Thompson

I know you can embarrass get this m ail, but please do not ignore it. After going through your pro file, I feel I should tell you about it.

Oh, I can embarrass what ails you, all right. Thanks for noticing! And I really have more of an amateur file than a pro. Might go pro someday; live the dream.

My father was a poison in his business associates in one of their outings on a business trip.

So if your father was a poison, that makes you half poison? And if he was a poison in his associates, then that would mean that your mother…well, let’s just say it would be an interesting inheritance law case study.

My mom died when I was a kid, so I orphaned children.

You orphaned children? That’s cold. What, since you don’t get parents, nobody gets parents? Or were you, as an orphan, trying to make more of your kind the only way you knew how?

I request the transfer of the inherited money US $ 5.5 M and I come over there.

Too much information! And honestly I think $5.50 would mostly be eaten up in fees.

My father left him in a bank before he dies as a result of eating poison, I’ll give you 15% after the transfer, I will tell you how and why to choose you, and you need to know, but, as you may be already aware, at present, my country is currently in a State of war due to political crises.

So your father locked somebody in a bank before eating himself and dying. Your family history isn’t really selling me on this whole thing.

The rebels have already captured the entire North of the country and efforts aimed at seizing the country’s commercial center, where I am now.

Also, what country where people are named “Lilian Thompson” is currently in the middle of a civil war? Not exactly a Syrian name…

Meanwhile I choose because of the familiarity of the name, and secondly, I choose you with faith as a Christian and pray for it and believe in it.

I’m glad you have faith and all, but the familiarity of one’s name doesn’t necessarily indicate trustworthiness. Joseph Stalin and Bernie Madoff are familiar names.

Finally I love your country and its my dream, because it’s a peaceful country: reply through My Email; [redacted]

Wait, my country is your dream? Doesn’t that mean that it’ll disappear when you wake up? Maybe sending the money isn’t such a bad idea after all…

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The isle of Cevkawesi in the East Indies, known as Kawas to the Dutch and Portuguese, was of little interest to Europeans prior to Dutch consolidation of their colonial rule post-1814. It was small and mountainous, with few of the spices or safe harbors desired by the VOC or the Crown in Lisbon.

In fact, Cevkawesi was best known for the volcanic eruption of its central peak in 1800, one which violently ejected much of the central island into the sky and left a caldera full of seawater. While paling in comparison to the eruptions of Tambora (1815) and Krakatoa (1883), the eruption still caused a localized cooling and mild tidal waves in nearby harbors, with ashfall recorded in Jakarta and Singapore.

However, archival research has indicated that the island may have been inhabited at the time of the eruption. The Vereenigde Oost-Indische Compagnie archives in Amsterdam show a visit to Cevkawesi by a trading vessel in 1787, and the master’s official report includes mention of oerbevolking (aboriginal inhabitants), ruïnes van steen (stone ruins), and hindoe beelden (Hindu statues). The ship’s master’s notes indicate that there was little of economic value, mentioning that the inhabitants were squatting in the structures and did not appear to have the technology to make such structures.

In a controversial paper published in the Historical Bulletin of Southeast Asia and Oceania, a group of scholars argued that the VOC records indicate a relict population of a much larger empire or entity living on Cevkawesi and surviving in monumental architecture from an earlier period until the time of the eruption.

The paper went on to propose a number of origins for the “stone ruins,” from the Sailendra dynasty on nearby Java circa 800 AD to the Mataram kingdom circa 1000 or even the later Srivijaya, Singhasari, or Majapahit empires. A totally unique and independent origin was also discussed (the VOC ship’s master mentioned being unable to understand the Cevkawesis despite the presence of a Javan translator in the ship’s compliment).

It was possible, however unlikely, that the inhabitants of Cevkawesi had an entirely unique culture, architecture, and language.

Whatever the case, the answers lay buried on the flanks of the island. Volcanologists estimate that the eruption would have unleashed multiple pyroclastic flows into Cevkawesi valleys, scouring them clean of all life and burying any structures deeper than Pompeii.

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As she’d been told, Millie followed the silken thread into the center of the maze, where an old cabin lay. It had been wracked by the elements, leaning sideways and with barely a few flecks of paint remaining, but she wormed her way inside regardless.

It was nearly dusk, leaving the interior nothing but long shadows and dust. A table was the only piece of furniture still standing, and a deeply lined sheet of parchment lay upon it. Just as the instructions had said, Millie folded it, moving the parchment along creases that had been worked countless times before.

She laid the resulting origami owl atop the table.

“You have observed the ritual properly,” the owl said in a voice that was at once the rustling of dead leaves and the rending of old books. “Ask your question.”

Millie took a deep breath. “How do I bring him back?”

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Bennie could thereafter be seen cruising around town in souped-up, expensive cars, since he could apparently find no other outlet for his newfound wealth. He seemed to rotate fairly equally between a red For Mustang, a yellow Chevrolet Camaro, and a lime green Dodge Charger. Townsfolk seeing those new and expensive vehicles on the road began to derisively refer to the trio as “Ketchup, Mustard, and Relish.”

For his part, when Bennie was told of the nicknames, he enthusiastically adopted them as his own, and added themed trim and custom nameplates to each car. In addition, he began recruiting flunkies to drive the cars with him in a trio so that all three condiments were out at the same time.

All of that was, naturally, before the accident that spread Ketchup, Mustard, and Relish all over what soon became known in local circles as “Hot Dog Street.”

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Many film critics preface their lists of notable cinema with the term “the best.” The best movies of the year, the best movie of all time. It makes for dramatic copy, but it’s also highly inaccurate. It would be better for them to simply say that the list contains their favorite films of the year, but that makes less attention-grabbing reading and removes the gloss obscuring the fact that all moviegoers, even critics, are subjective viewers. Only through consensus over time can anything have a claim to be “the best.” Everything else is just “my favorite.”

This explains why occasionally you’ll see a moviegoer or critic defend their love of a particular film (as the late Roger Ebert notoriously did with Burt Reynolds’ Rent-a-Cop) despite the fact that it’s nowhere near perfect cinema. A favorite movie is like a favorite car or a favorite pair of jeans–you love it for what it is, warts and all.

I recently realized that my favorite movie, at least insofar as I can name one, is 1993’s Jurassic Park, an assessment reinforced by its recent reappearance on the big screen.

Jurassic Park is in many ways a synthesis of other things in its director’s oeuvre. It combines the broad optimism evident in E.T. and the unrelenting horror from Jaws into something that’s its own beast, apart from the book and the many, many creature feature imitators that followed. There’s action, adventure, laughs (mostly courtesy of Jeff Goldblum, much more effective as a scene-stealer than a lead in the sequel), and a real human element as well.

That’s one criticism that “serious” critics leveled at the film that I never agreed with–that the special effects are great but that the characters are cardboard. I don’t think anyone was robbed at Oscar time, but Grant and Hammond have significant character arcs. Grant, the curmudgeonly character who hates kids, is forced to come to terms with his parental side by guiding the kids through the park; willing to scare a kid to death for insulting a dinosaur at the beginning, he’s ready to give up his life to protect one by the end.

And Hammond (a much different and more sympathetic character than in the book) has his idealism and showmanship tempered by harsh reality. Not only the controller who’s lost control, but an old man faced with the sobering reality that his dream may have cost the lives of the people he loves. My favorite scene in the film doesn’t involve any dinosaurs or special effects, but rather Richard Attenborough musing quietly on his life of showmanship over bowls of melting ice cream.

I’d be the first to agree that Jurassic Park isn’t a perfect movie. Several subplots from the book are shoehorned in and left dangling, most notably the mystery of the sick triceratops and the “lysine contingency.” Despite its screen time we never learn that the triceratops was becoming sick by eating West Indian Lilac as a crop stone, and the throwaway mention of the lysine contingency adds nothing to the picture other than a hurdle for future sequels to grapple with or ignore. The conceit that all the park workers except the main characters leave the island due to the storm (or perhaps daily, it’s not clear) strains credulity.

But still, I find myself as thrilled and engaged by Jurassic Park now as I was in 1993. Even a few notes of John Williams’ magnificent score are enough to make me want to pop in the DVD. It’s not a perfect movie, but it’s perhaps my favorite.

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