“Well, that’s it,” said Rostov. “Trail’s cold.”

“Not so fast,” replied Sokolov. “There’s one witness we haven’t interviewed.”

“What witness?” Rostov cast his arms wide as his words echoed off the abandoned and run-down buildings around him. “Not even a rat to interrogate!”

“True enough,” said Sokolov. “But if these walls could talk…”

He ignored Rostov’s puzzled look and dipped once more into his rucksack of tricks. This time, he produced a small palette studded with oil paint pots and a brush. Walking to a boarded-up shack nearby, he began to paint.

“What is this, finger-painting time in art class?”

“No. Interrogation!”

Sokolov didn’t look up until he’d finished; he’d painted over the boarded windows with eerily lifelike eyes, and the door with a mouth of the same consistency.

A moment later, the shack sprang to life with an audible yawn like a settling old house.

“Good morning, friend,” said Sokolov.

“And good morning to you, stranger,” the shack said, its voice tinder-dry old shingles and rusting hinges. For his part. Rostov’s mouth was a gaping, broken window.

“Tell me, friend,” continued Sokolov. “Did you see a suspicious-looking fellow come through here about a day ago?”

Inspired by this.

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He’d lived a remarkable life, being born sometime in the 1850s when his tribe still practiced their traditional way of life as farmers and herders and dying well into his 90s (at least) in 1941. His real name was long-forgotten, lost with most of his people when they were moved to a reservation; people mostly called him John Green.

From the time his people were forcibly resettled around 1885 until his death, John Green lived a quiet life in his ramshackle government-provided reservation house, tending to his true passion: gardening. As a youth he’d been trained in the cultivation of the Three Sisters: squash, corn, and beans.

Finding himself with nothing but time on his hands, John Green set out to perfect them.

He carefully bred and nurtured new varieties of each in his garden, year after year, decade after decade. The cultivars that worked were sold out of a small booth in the nearest town every other Sunday. John Green was intensely private, but did show the occasional interested party around his garden; a notebook from a state official that visited him in 1927 is the best source for many of the varieties he created.

Ordinarily, that’s where it would have stopped; John Green, the interesting footnote in botanical history, the humble man responsible for over 45 varieties of corn, beans, and squash.

But that was before the contagion that began sweeping through the cornfields of Middle America, resulting in massive crop failures and the specter of a supply chain collapse for the first time in centuries. The only strains resistant to it?

John Green’s.

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The Admiral enjoyed long walks along the battlements of the Imperial Palace. Situated high on a cliff overlooking the old seaport, it offered a clear view of the water below without the industrial haze that lingered over Newtown, walled off by a spur of the bluffs. But this was no sightseeing walk.

“I only mentioned it to you as a curiosity, Sir,” the Admiral’s trailing adjutant whined. “A face-to-face meeting could be dangerous, or embarrassing…”

He was cut off by a stern look from the Admiral, who continued through the Elevated Gardens and the Imperial Fountain to the guard post. Imperial Marines saluted him at every turn; the Emperor had a deep and oft-irrational love of the sea and his pet navy, so every point was patrolled by naval infantry instead of the Praetorians the old emperor had used.

A young Marine was trussed up in the guardhouse, watched by two armed peers. The Admiral had expected the young man to be dirtying his trousers, but he was instead collected if excited.

“Tell me, son,” the Admiral said. “What is it you saw?”

“Claim you saw,” his adjutant added; the Admiral cuffed him with a glove.

“I saw…the Imperial Fountain, sir. A lady climbed out of it as it it were a dozen feet deep when there’s nothing but scullery maids in the Elevated Gardens. Her eyes were the bay on a good summer morning, and she wore a dress that was a neap tide.”

“Probably a soused noblewoman from last night’s ball,” said the Admiral’s adjutant. “Wearing a sea-blue dress that reminded this dolt of the sea.”

“No…no, I didn’t say that,” the marine protested. “Her eyes, her dress…they weren’t like the sea, they were the sea. It was like seeing a goddess. She gave me a message for you, Admiral.”

“The man’s clearly delusional and possibly insane,” said the adjutant. “He’ll be flogged and released to a mental asylum before he can waste anyone else’s time with his blasphemy.”

The admiral nodded. “Yes, I think a flogging is called for.” He turned to one of the escorting Imperial Marines. “Have my adjutant flogged for his insolence.”

Once the man had been dragged, protesting, away, the Admiral knelt down by the young marine. “What was the message?”

“She said…that the ships of the Empire were driving the seas toward a great and catastrophic loss,” the young man said. “She said that the great song of the oceans would be soured by war if we did not alter from our present course.”

The Admiral was silent for a moment. “I have always said that war is a great and terrible symphony,” he said at length. “I was at Jushima and the Carlist Sea, and I know the roar and glow, the merciless beauty, of a hard-fought contest of shrapnel and steel. Tell me, son: do you know how I, son of a burgher, came to be an admiral?”

The marine shook his head.

“It was love, for a long-distant and half-remembered woman who sang to me the great song of the oceans, using the words you’ve just now spoken to me. Release him, and let us go speak to the Emperor together.”

Regrettably, such a message finds few willing ears no matter its bearer. On the advice of his adjutant, who was a cousin to the Imperial family, the Admiral was forcibly retired. His warnings about the size of the Imperial Fleet went unheeded, and the young marine who had borne them disappeared. When the enemies of the Empire, unnerved by the size of its fleet and its army, descended upon it in a mechanized war, many perished.

It is said that toward the end of the conflict, the old Admiral wandered the Elevated Gardens as revolutionaries battered down the palace doors below, speaking in a low voice to the distant and imperishable sea.

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“How does that happen?” said Mr. Gruenfeld, the morning’s newspaper in hand. “How do they catch someone with 2,300 rare turtles for the illegal pet trade when they’re coming into the country? Don’t you think someone would notice when they were leaving wherever they came from?”

Republic of San Martin, two days earlier

“Excuse me, sir,” said one of the Sanmartinese airport guards. “Your cargo pants seem to be…moving.”

“Oh, that’s just my medical condition. I have something that clears it right up.” The guy proffered a roll of colorful Sanmartinese currency.

“I feel better already,” said the guard. “Have a nice flight.”

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Anagrams and translations were always a welcome means of obfuscation. So even though Solanine Aubrionne’s name was build from the same building blocks as Nina Leos O’Brien’s, no one made any connection between the two. No one ever made the connection between her assumed name and the toxin in deadly nightshade (as well as potatoes), either. She laughed at that sometimes, before realizing how few people in the Rim had ever seen a potato.

Then again, it was nice to be able to hold onto a small part of that silly girl who’d worked 80-hour weeks in a coffee shop to fund a lifestyle she couldn’t afford, even if it was obscure. Sol had made a more or less definitive break when she’d walked out on her job and her apartment and hopped a shuttle, but the long hours and utterly alien environment of her new life made contemplative nostalgia a daily phenomenon.

“Scan for fuel sources.” The words were muffled by Sol’s environment suit.

Globe shot toward the rusty and hulking ruin ahead. “You know that it’s not a scan, right? It’s basically Geiger counting.”

“That doesn’t sound as cool.” Globe was a bog-standard prospecting assistant drone, but Sol had installed an aftermarket personality simulator and tweaked its settings so she’d have an occasional bout of faux conversation.

Globe vanished into the hulk. It was a relic from the old first-wave homesteaders, abandoned planetside when it became clear that the toxic spores in just about everything couldn’t be easily terraformed away. Thrown out with power sources still intact…it was hard to imagine an age that had been that wasteful. Then again, people had thought that mined unbihexium would never run out, and had no idea that commercially synthesizing it would be so impractical.

Sol could sympathize. She’d once thrown out a perfectly serviceable life and was still struggling with the decision years later.

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People tended to avoid the Tianming Hills largely because of the ruins scattered among them from the time of the Seres Empire. Superstition wasn’t as great as it had been in the old days, when the Serican ruins had been looked upon as haunted and unlucky, and the archaeological excavations at Liqian had taught the people much about their ancient and technologically advanced predecessors.

That didn’t keep people in the sticks from continuing to leave the Hills well alone, and such was fine with Antigua.

When business at her uncle’s machine shop was slow, and it was often very slow, Antigua would take to the Tianming Hills and explore. The Seres Empire had been tottering on the verge of collapse when her Daqin ancestors had arrived centuries ago, and the old empire’s disintegration after being ravaged by Daqinian diseases and the brief but fierce Dusk War meant that even in Antigua’s most scholarly history books there was little but speculation. Many of the settlers had some Seres ancestry–including Antigua herself–but little else was known aside from lists of long-dead emperors and vague tales of automata.

She’d found nothing but rusty mechanical crossbows and other things barely worth tinkering with until the Tielaohu.

There were tales, of course, about the iron automaton tigers that had decimated the Daqin army at the Battle of the Ir. Their immobile, gutted husks were found in the occasional museum. The way to deal with them in a combat situation–surrounding them with burning bales of hay and firing a cannon point-blank into the conflagration–was still in the Daqin cavalry manuals that Antigua’s cousin Barbuda brought home from the Academy.

But that warm summer day when she happened on a moss-covered Tielaohu tiger in the Tianming Hills…Antigua had never dreamed that she would find anything of the sort.

Much less return it to life.

Inspired by this.

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One day in the parking lot I spied
Africa-shaped greased stain
The net day when my car had died
I saw an oily continent again
This time the Americas were greased out
On that lonely roadside shoulder
After that the stains did flout
As coincidences they grew bolder
Australia, Asia, Europe all appeared
Even lonely Antarctica was found
Upon pavement with auto grease smeared
If things keep up I know I’m bound
To find another stain afore long
But wonder I must at the shape
If to Earth all the stains belong
What alien landmass will next I gape?

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Welcome, [insert name], to the GesteCo™ Cerebral Outsourcing program!

It’s a well-known fact that the spoiled and indolent people entering the workforce today are too entitled to lower themselves to the level of occupations that are necessary to keep our advanced and technological society functioning. This is why despite low trade school tuition and high pay there is a critical shortage of qualified plumbers.

The GesteCo™ Cerebral Outsourcing program aims to change that. We fill jobs that are supposedly too mind-numbing or too degrading for today’s feckless 18-35 demographic by the use of patented GesteCo™ Cerebral Nullifiers. That way, the training and on-the job experiences of these necessary but unsexy occupations do not conflict with the inflated sense of self-worth young people carry.

The process is simple: participating businesses receive a GesteCo™ Cerebral Nullifier and a crew of experienced technicians. After each workday, calculated brain damage from patented GesteCo™ Radiative Scalpels erases any memory of the day’s tedium or clogged drains while retaining any learned skills. With no memory of their day, the workers can spend their paychecks and leisure time like the entitled dilettantes they are. An expanded program is available for jobs which require vocational and/or college-level training, partnering with firms and schools across the country to erase memories of attending classes while retaining learned skills and expertise.

The following FAQ has been provided by Faqwriters Inc (A GesteCo™ Company and Cerebral Outsourcing partner for more than [insert year difference]).

Q: Does the fact that my employees can’t remember doing their work mean that I can pay them less?
A: GesteCo™ is legally obligated by the Fairness in Mindwipery Act 2014 § 12.17 to inform you that this is not officially permitted. However, given the general toothlessness of enforcement behind said Act, officially regrettable supervisory accidents and payroll errors have occurred.

Q: Can senior-level executives participate in the GesteCo™ Cerebral Outsourcing program?
A: Regrettably, the need to make strategic business decisions and pay stockholder dividends generally precludes this. However, several Fortune 500 companies have used Cerebral Outsourcing alongside the GesteCo™ Decisiontron Automated Business Machine.

Q: Can the GesteCo™ Cerebral Outsourcing program be used to enforce nondisclosure agreements and proprietary information control?
A: Yes! Ask your GesteCo™ representative about our expanded “Loose Lips” sub-program with our extended-warranty machines and maintenance teams.

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That was it. With the manual crank shot away there was no question of a soft landing, and the dogfight had burned through the 450 rounds in each of Ryov’s ShKAS machine guns. The Messerschmitt was still on him even though the Nationalist bombers had been driven away, and still firing–apparently the Nationalists and their fascist backers were more generous with heavy machine gun ammunition than the VVS or the Spanish Republicans pulling Ryov’s strings.

Ryov was willing to bet, though, when it came down to steel on steel, the rugged mule of his Polikarpov I-16 would beat out the fascist’s dilettante Messerschmitt. Maybe he’d also get an idea of whether Pushkin’s stories about downing a Mitsubishi in Mongolia were true.

“CM-260 damaged beyond repair. Attempting to bail out.”

The Polikarpov could turn like a beast; Ryov pulled out of a shallow dive into a steep leftward bank. The fascist pilot clearly hadn’t expected a maneuver like that, since it set the tubby mule on a direct collision course. Ryov saw a pair of frightened blue eyes in the opposite cockpit; he responded with a grin and a salute before bailing.

Once his chute deployed, Ryov was able to see that his fighter had slammed into the Messerschmitt, and the two craft definitely were not living to see 1938. Locked in a fiery embrace, they were plummeting toward the Catalonian countryside. To his annoyance, though, Ryov saw another chute in the distance–the fascist had bailed too.

“No problem,” Ryov muttered to himself as he tumbled to a stop on a dusty dirt road. He cut his chute loose and unstrapped the Tokarev pistol from his side. The fascist hadn’t landed far away, perhaps five hundred meters or so.

“I see you over there!” Ryov cried in Spanish, figuring that was his best chance of being understood. “Put up your hands!”

Cresting a small rise revealed the other pilot, clearly a German, walking toward Ryov with an unholstered Luger. “Put up your own damn hands!” he replied in heavily accented Spanish.

Ryov was content to stare his enemy down for a moment, then smiled. “See those people running toward us across the field?” he said. “They’re Catalans. Unless you put yourself under my protection, they’ll tear your baby-bombing ass to shreds.”

The German glanced back and forth a few times between Ryov and the approaching Catalans before sullenly tossing his pistol to the ground. “Thank you,” Ryov said, scooping it up. “Welcome, friends!” he added to the approaching peasants. “Lt. Ryov of the Spanish Republican Air Force requires your assistance!”

His smile lasted until the peasant nearest him struck him over the head with a club. By the time he and the German had been bound up and flung into the back of a wagon, it was a dour scowl.

In the center of the nearby small town, the wagon passed a makeshift gibbet with two corpses hanging from it; one wore a placard reading FASCIST and the other a sign with COMMUNIST in bold red. Nailed above them both was a bold notice: THE IBERIAN ANARCHIST FEDERATION KEEPS WORKERS AND FARMERS SAFE FROM EXPLOITERS OF ALL SHADES.

“I think we may be in trouble,” murmured the German in his accented Spanish.

“I think you may be right.”

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When the British captured the Libyan coast from Axis forces in 1943, the captured Germans and Italians were shipped to Camp Shelby in Mississippi, while the UK soldiers found themselves among the ancient Roman ruins of Leptis Magna. Trained archaeologists attached to the British as artillerymen did their best to keep the ruins from being damaged during the occupation.

In the course of their work trying to conserve the old ruins, the British came across a mummified corpse in one of the outbuildings, itself almost 2000 years old. They didn’t recognize the uniform the dead body wore, nor could they read the language on items it carried. Furthermore, there was no reliable way to tell how long it had been there.

Wild speculation set in, with some soldiers claiming that the body had been present for as long as the ruins had, and that it was proof of an ancient and advanced civilization. Other rumors had the chamber covered with dark symbols indicating a demonic origin.

The reality, as it often is, was more prosaic. Eventually, a British occupier with a talent for languages examined the body and declared the writing to be Russian. A little further detective work showed that the body was that of a Soviet POW, a pilot, who had been captured after bailing out over Bessarabia and shipped to North Africa as a forced laborer, working to maintain the engines and equipment of a Luftwaffe unit stationed nearby.

He’d fled as soon as he was able, only to die of thirst hiding in the ruins nearly a year before his body was discovered.

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