“Well, I was on CupydsArrow.com updating my profile,” said Chrissy, hesitantly, “when suddenly a sinkhole opened up beneath my computer desk and sucked everything in my room into the ancient deep.”

“Oh, that was just me stirring from my dead slumber of aeons and shifting the door of my house at the sunken city of Ri’ya’dh,” said Xuhulu, its inconceivable form writhing with tentacles and chaos.

“And, uh, why did you feel the need to do that?” Chrissy asked.

“Because, um…” Xuhulu rubbed the back of what might have been its head with what might have been its arm, both appendages guaranteed to cause permanent insanity in anyone who beheld them in the wrong configuration. “I might be eldritchcutie321 on CupydsArrow.com. Got any plans tonight?”

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