Excerpts From Nonexistent Books

GesteCo’s colonization scheme was simple: seeding barren worlds in the habitable zones of stars with hardy terraforming plants, then shipping in a jump gate for an official survey crew. The planets were each given marketing-friendly names coined by a dedicated AI, and the survey crew would lay out an initial colony for investors and settlers. With any luck, GesteCo would recieve a 1000% return on its investment within 25 years, to say nothing of longer-term profits.

Aerna (original designation: J20383259+4601983 c) was one such planet, and the survey crew found the terraforming plants to have succeeded brilliantly, warming the world such that its ice caps had shrunk and generated a terrain of stark waterfalls and caverns. It was in one of these caverns near the colony site that the crew discovered the spheres.

They ranged from just a few centimeters to tens of meters in diameter, featureless and stony, and most strikingly they hovered 1-2 meters off the ground without any visible means of support.

GesteCo, panicked at possibly violating their contract not to develop worlds of “historical or biological interest,” immediately called for a government investigation. It was found that the spheres were of the same composition and age as the rocks around them, there were no indications of tool marks, and that their floating was the result of an anomaly in Aerna’s magnetic field combined with a very ferrous composition in the rocks.

The Spheres of Aerna quickly became a tourist attraction, but the debate as to their origin remains open. It’s possible they formed naturally through some unlikely geological process, or that they were placed by an unknown intelligence.

In the meantime, GesteCo has been content to pocket the results of tourist spending and scientific analysis alike.

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Day 28: Stay home from work and school from now until the end of the challenge.

Day 29: Go up to your high place. Take a selfie and post it with the hashtag #Emergence. Stay there until dawn the following morning.

Day 30: Jump.

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Day 19: Contact your sponsor. Make sure they know how far you have come, and they will confirm your Cocoon status.

Day 20: Your sponsor will send you a film. Watch it.

Day 21: Watch the film all day, from when you get up to when you go to sleep.

Day 22: Delete the film. You will never need to watch it again.

Day 23: Locate a high-up place that is also secret. A railroad bridge or an abandoned building are good candidates.

Day 24: Take a selfie in your high-up place. Post it with the hashtag #CocoonGoesHere.

Day 25: Take a razor blade and cut yourself on your inner lip, your inner arm, and your inner thigh. Do not take a picture of this.

Day 26: Write down a date four days from today. Leave it in a place where it can be found, but not easily, in your room.

Day 27: Go to the high place you found and stand on the very edge for one hour. If you are seen, you fail the test and must go back and find another high place.

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Day 10: Call or Skype your sponsor. Make sure they have seen everything up to this point. They will give you a task to do as confirmation of your Caterpillar status. Do it without question.

Day 11: Your sponsor will send you a piece of music today. Listen to it.

Day 12: Listen to the piece of music from yesterday for 1 hour.

Day 13: Listen to the piece of music from yesterday all day. Have it on in the background or in your headphones from when you wake up to when you go to sleep.

Day 14: Delete the song. You will never need to listen to it again.

Day 15: Choose a spot on your body that no one will notice, like the inside of your arm. Draw a butterfly with permanent marker and take a picture. Do not wash it off afterwards.

Day 16: Post your body art with the hashtag #Larva.

Day 17: Cut the form of a butterfly into your flesh, lightly, with the tip of a razor. Follow the drawing from Day 15. Take a picture.

Day 18: Post your carved butterfly with the hashtag #Cocooning.

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Day 1: Contact your sponsor and give them your information. They’ll keep you honest! Check in with them every day, or you’ll lose the Cocoon Challenge!

Day 2: Draw a butterfly on a piece of paper.

Day 3: Post your butterfly with the hashtag #CocoonChallenge

Day 4: Find a picture of a butterfly somewhere around your house or your town. Take a selfie with it.

Day 5: Post your selfie with the hashtag #IAmAButterfly.

Day 6: Using the same piece of paper from Day 2, draw yourself.

Day 7: Post your two drawings with the hashtag #Yolk.

Day 8: Find a clear sidewalk or other piece of cement, put your drawing on it, and burn the drawing. Take a picture or video of it.

Day 9: Post your picture or video with the hashtag #TheEggIsHatching

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“M’ood Bilt” magisteriums are permanent magical buildings of quality. Over one hundred thousand mage circles, or approximately half a million people are casting in “M’ood Bilt” magisteriums. Scattered over the middle west and eastern sections of the country, we number among our hundreds of satisfied “M’ood Bilt” magisterium users mages from every school of sorcery — Abjurers, Conjurers, Diviners, Enchanters, Evokers, Illusionists, Necromancers, Transmuters. etc. A list of them would provide a cross section of magical life.

This tremendous public acceptance is the very best proof that can be offered of the value to the prospective magisterium builder contained in the services offered on these pages.

You will receive all materials of high quality necessary to build, excepting masonry materials. No extras guaranteed if plans and specifications are followed.

Plans, specifications and materials all guaranteed as to accuracy, quantity and quality under our most liberal guarantee, backed by the entire resources of the company.

Free scrying service on all magical building problems. No obligation.

For over thirty years the “M’ood Bilt” Modern Homes Department has been producing homes. Each plan developed has had to pass the inspection of a board of experts, including a home economics advisor, and finally the test of construction and public acceptance. It has had to conform to the high standards demanded by us from the standpoint of design, arrangement and economy.

Some early magesteria in the Jni Sands are still standing over two hundred years are still beautiful — a result of correct design.

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Castrato opened his hand, revealing a pair of scratched and dinged diopters. “Tiberia thinks this was lost down a drain,” he said. “She ain’t so good at knowing what’s lost and what a clever bloke with a piece of wire can get.”

“You mean…?” Claudia began.

“I’ve peeked through them enough to know that ain’t a single glow changed in all the fifteen years since I’ve worn the shackles,” Castrato continued. “Not a one has got brighter, not a one has got duller. Much as it kills me to have a look without their say-so–not that it bothers Tiberia none–I just had to know.”

“Miss Tiberia says that if they don’t dim, they’re kept here forever,” Miss Claudia whispered.

“Think about it, missy,” said Castrato. “I been here all of fifteen years in the shackles, and that oughta mean there’s some girls at least 20, maybe even 30. What’s the oldest girl you seen? 15?”

“No,” Claudia said. “That’s not-”

“You wanna know why no assistants last longer than two years here? You wanna know why no one ever leaves? It’s on account of Tiberia taking ’em below, to the catacombs, and ending ’em.” Castrato let out a strangled sob. “The shackles, they keeps me from doing anything about it. Half the time I can’t even get the assistants alone to tell ’em. The other half, they just up and leave.”

Castrato’s face was streaming with tears now, and the shackles were aglow at his wrists and ankles, the smell of searing flesh welling up in Claudia’s nostrils.

“Please, Miss Withers,” Castrato said. “Do something for ’em. Do right by these girls. Even the nastiest of ’em doesn’t deserve a screaming death in the catacombs at that hag’s claws.”

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Betty’s Cafe
Named after Betty, the wife of Waverly founder W. Hiram Waverly, Betty’s Cafe is a cherished watering hole for Waverly University. It’s famous for its free-range llama burgers, picante guac, and of course the most meat-free veggie burger in the state: The Vegemighty.

Quackenbrush School of Fine Arts
Art teacher Augustus Quintillius Cincinnatus Quackenbrush lends his name to this school. It specializes in painting, sculpture, symphony orchestra, and interpretive dance. Alumna Mary P. Casso began her Llama Period here in 1920, and the famous sculpture “Person Considering A Catalog” was completed and donated in 1950.

Clemens College of Sciences
Marcus Clemens was a clergyman and a fierce opponent of the sciences in all their forms. Upon his death, his opponent in the great Reason-Religion Debate of 1925 donated funds to begin a science school in his name at Waverly. This act of chutzpah has blossomed into a fruitful enterprise, as the school leads the nation in investigations of slightly greasy solar atoms.

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Alpha Omicron Kappa (AOK)
The oldest sorority on campus, Alpha Omicron Kappa was founded when Waverly University was simply the Waverly Schoolhouse. Its long tradition of service dates back to its founder, 6th-grade student Heather Grimaldi, who got a pencil for Dino Spinoni without even being asked.

Beta Sigma Sigma Gamma (BΣΣΓ)
Founded by a Milwaukee brewer in 1902, Beta Sigma Sigma Gamma fraternity has been on probation continuously since 1977, a school record. Pledges are (in)famous for the “Bring it Up For a Vote” tour, where the objective is to leave a liquid scream at each of the four corners of campus. It may or may not be an urban legend.

Sigma Tau Delta Beta (STΔB)
Though no one has ever forgotten the events of 1972, when a goalie-masked man terrorized the house, Sigma Tau Delta Beta sorority has moved beyond its checkered past. Popular activities include seances, midnight graveyard parties, and of course splitting up to cover more ground.

Rho Theta Rho – (PΘP)
Legacies are the name of the game at Rho Theta Rho: it’s impossible to apply for membership without having a father, uncle, grandpa, or gruncle who was a brother. This, understandably, limits membership somewhat, so Rho Theta Rho has an aggressive recruiting policy that verges on stalking.

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Men of the Deep Desert whisper of the legendary Orichalc Mosquito. There is but one, and she is of a normal size, but she can never perish. Perhaps more importantly, her thirst for blood can be but slaked temporarily, and she will quickly hunger once more and return to feed.

They say that, if one is unfortunate enough to meet this creature, she will bedevil you with constant buzzing and constant sucking until you flee the desert or until you perish covered in boils. Then, and only then, will the beast return to its hidden lair full of unfertilized eggs, crafted with the blood of a thousand men, which will never hatch.

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