-Teacher is Virgo and Mercury is in retrograde.

-Saw ex in attendance. Did not sign up for drama class.

-Registered while drunk; seems less fun sober.

-Books too expensive. Fact that books are online and open-source irrelevant.

-Transferring to other school with more lax three-strikes policy.

-Passing grade in prerequisite class achieved by plagiarism, but new teacher seems sharper.

-Changing majors to accountancy; will trade soul for money instead of money for soul.

-Teacher clearly has it out for student after asking them repeatedly to put on shirt.

-Dad has decided lack of MBA no longer impediment to inheriting dealership.

-Hit by university bus; generous settlement means degree now unnecessary.

-Dropping out to become cosmetologist; was being serious about “wanting to curl up and dye.”

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