The opposing team was too well-armed with foam darts and the guns to sling them with, a veritable arsenal of Fern-brand foam death.

It was time to even the score by illicit means.

“Give me the Doggie Derringer.”

A hush fell over the young combatants. The Doggie Derringer was designed to fire tennis balls–full-size ones!–for athletic retriever dogs. Its fearsome spring, unyielding projectiles, and five-ball magazine were never meant to be used in combat, on humans.

But desperate times called for desperate measures.

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