CAPTAIN: My grandpa was a xenoman, my dad was a xenoman, and I’m a xenoman. And someday I hope my boy’ll take over the ship too.

ANNOUNCER: The hit series The Deep Space Catch returns this Friday, following the xenoman fishing the great vacuum abyss of the shoulder of Orion. Xenomorphs are a delicacy for the Oeglians of the outer rim, and their popularity at the dinner table means a continuation of hard-working xenomen working out of New Darwin and their way of life.

[On the deck of a fishing starship, a Xenomorph trap swings wildly through the hard vacuum on a crane]

CAPTAIN: Watch those traps!

[The trap falls to the deck and bursts open, coating the deck with green blood]

CAPTAIN: Dammit! Craig, clean off that acid before it eats through the deck!

ANNOUNCER: It’s statistically the deadliest profession in the known universe, with 95% of the xenomen being injured or killed on the job.

[CAPTAIN knocks on a cabin door belowdecks]

CAPTAIN: Come on, Matt, get up! We have traps to clean out…

[CAPTAIN forced the door open and recoils from the sight within]

CAPTAIN: Oh god, chestburster got him! Quick, toss me the flamethrower!

ANNOUNCER: Deep Space Catch. Returning to the Astronomy Channel this Friday.

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